Fergie’s milkshake clip is making me lactose intolerant

Opinion

Early this week, Fergie AKA the chick from the Black Eyed Peas AKA Super hunky Josh Duhamel’s misses has dropped a new hit and a video to go with it which has left me feeling…..well to be honest, I don’t know…I’m confused!

The video titled M.I.L.F.$, which apparently now means Mum’s I’d Like to Follow  (really??), has left women feeling a range of emotions and men watching it on repeat with the volume down! And why wouldn’t they, it is super hot! The clip features Fergie and a range of celebrity Mums including Chrissy Teigan and Kim Kardashian.

But here’s the problem. I don’t know if I should support the feminist in me and be slightly outraged about the sexism in this clip. Or, should I be high-fiving Fergie to the bank for making mother-hood sexy?

As a new mum of twins, there are a few things I do know however….

There is no way in hell Mum-hood is this sexy! What on earth are they wearing in this clip! This is taking mumma fashion (and lack of clothing) to another level! This said by a woman who is currently sitting in my PJ’s at 12pm, covered in patches of spew and feeling pretty good that not only are all 3 of us still alive but my bubs are actually sleeping!! A rare moment in which I’ve chosen to write this rather than find a new set of clothes! 

Breastfeeding is not that glamorous! The video shows a clip of Chrissy Teigan breastfeeding her baby girl and she looks amazing! I have one picture of me breast feeding the boys and I look like a jersey cow with suitcases under my eyes who hadn’t showered in days (I probably hadn’t)

Where the hell is this street and why do I not have a milk delivery man? All these years I’ve been hauling my arse to the supermarket for milk meanwhile apparently there are still hot milk men around….sign me up spotty!

Talking of milk….and yes there is milk…there is WAY too much milk in this clip! I can’t remember the last time I took a break from mothering to pour milk all over me again and again…and again! What’s with the milk??? I like milk, it’s tasty, but it’s not sexy! All that’s happened is now I feel I’ve over indulged in lactose by watching this video and switched my latte for a long black!

Finally, I’m pretty career savvy and have always made my own money, but I’ve spent it all on my maternity leave spoiling my little rug rats. I don’t do great but I do ok, and I love my job, so it’s a bit in  your face gals to flaunt your wealth V mine #justsaying

So, with all due respect I appreciate the people who are trying to be positive and say this is an empowering moment for mums, but for me it’s fallen a bit flat. It’s left me feeling down in the dumps about my post baby body and lack of money in my bank account. I wish I had a personal trainer, stylist and a spare million or 2 lying around and then maybe I’d be 1% closer to looking like these stunners (probably not)! But let’s be honest while I think those women are amazing and stunning, they represent very few real women in the world. While lots of us are just trying to balance career, kids, body (not helped by the fact your partners wondering why you don’t look like these gals post baby!) and the reality that we don’t have a milk man!

Any whoos maybe I’m being a bit harsh? You be the judge

#lactoseoverload