My Not So Super-Bowl Experience


I like to think I’ve had numerous accomplishments in my life and here I find myself today in a new and some what exciting position….able to watch the Superbowl 50. For the first time in my life, I can find out what all the fuss is about and get stuck into this…what must be exhilarating sporting event! Surely it must be, the hype is insane, even here in Australia I find myself passing pubs advertising all you can eat chicken wings and pretzels while you watch the game, bring it on I say! Up until today, I have to admit, my knowledge of Superbowl has been limited to funny and creative commercial breaks – but this year…I’m going all in!

The first thing I notice about the Superbowl 50 as I flick on to Channel 7 at 10am is my little menu bar which advises me this show goes until 4pm this afternoon! What the!!! 4pm?! Are you serial? There must be some mistake? No? How long is this bloody sport, I mean I have heard endlessly about the half time break but is it actually a half day break? Geez…this could take a while!


Trying not to be put off by the potential TV commitment I have signed up to, I notice Nothing says America like an extended long winded version of Star Spangled Banner – the American Anthem so there could possibly be no one better to pull off the worlds longest version than Lady Gaga! Surprisingly clothed, she resembles a Christmas bauble I’ve just taken off the tree in a red shimmer outfit and tastefully matched blue nail polish! It’s more than cringeworthy listening to her drag out each and every note of the anthem…I get the girl can hold a note but seriously! Finally after 3 minutes she finishes the longest version ever which could have been all wrapped up in 40 seconds….but I’m elated to hear the twittesphere is ecstatic with her performance!

Let the game begin…..I am trying to get my head around the basics of this sport, first and foremost…what’s with the costumes Are these guys playing football or entering a Spanish bull fight? These dudes are wearing some serious kit….I never knew you could get so much padding into your clothing…no wonder this game takes so long it’d take forever to run in that! Is it just me or do they resemble storm troopers!!

20 minutes into the game and I’ve finally realised that the Panthers are indeed not from Penrith and the Broncos appear to lack that Bris-vegas buzz and I think I’ve managed to work out which team is which!

My second observation is…how slow is this game! There seems to be a lot of stopping and starting…mind you my attention is starting to wonder as I flick back to my trusted SBS Food Network during the game to quickly update my BBQ skills and find out who became the next Food Network All Star! Jumping back I’ve realised I’ve missed some critical moments when the Bronco’s have got more points on the board than the Panthers. I realised quickly I have absolutely no understanding on how the scoring of this game works…..If I am AFL illiterate then NFL isn’t even in my scope of understanding! Needless to say I finally witness my very first touch down and am openly feeling slightly disppointed hoping that the entire field would erupt with fireworks when some amazing dude smashed a giant leaping goal from half way down the field…alas I am wrong and am instead witness to some seriously cool high five action from some team players.

I few Facebook checks, an email browse, 3 cups of tea, a sandwich and a quick episode of Cutthroat Kitchen and I flick back to discover I almost missed the big deal – the half time entertainment! Well I have to say, it never fails to impress Bruno Mars morphs into Beyonce and Chris Martin and the Coldplay team kick some serious butt! Not to mention the highlights of the worlds most expensive commercials – even in Australia we get excited at a commercial valued at $4.5 million dollars!

Then it’s back to the game…I have to say by now, with more than half my day and all my interest gone, I find myself indulging in a large nanna nap which may (with out intent of course) have taken me through the end of the game and for me only to have to jump on google to find out who won!

So all in all, congrats to the Bronco’s (not the Queensland version) and commiserations to the Panthers but for me I can conclude that my first Superbowl experience has left me little to be desired! Perhaps I should have learnt the rules? Perhaps I should have stayed with it but all in all I can’t say it’s a sport that has sucked me in and I am currently filing NFL along side Road Cycling in my “disinterested” file!

Having said that, to the millions of people enjoying their favourite sporting events big day of the year! Go for it! You rock and it’s always great to see any sport well supported and team spirit is amazing the world over! However to the lovely lady who was quoted saying the World has it’s “World Cup” and America has the Superbowl…..ummmmm what planet are you on – literally!

In true American style, the Superbowl is an event like no other….if you are American, if however you are a couch sitting Australian it’s yet a different version of the NRL, AFL or Rugby Grand Finals differentiated purely by the great excuse to eat endless chicken wings and pretzels.

What I love is that it’s executed in that true American style – God Bless America!