Hey Rebecca Judd…..we need to talk.
No firstly I am not about to launch into an “OMG that’s not normal” or a “That’s not possible” rant, in fact firstly I want to say congratulations. Not just on the birth of you twins but also on the ability to bounce back in an incredibly inspiring way.
Rebecca Judd 3 weeks after having twins. courtesy: instagram
But here’s the thing, while part of me thinks you are wonderfully amazing in your ability to recover so quickly from the birth of your twins, the rest of me is concerned. I’m not concerned about you…no I understand you are one of those people who is incredibly blessed with the combination of great genes and strong will power enabling you to stay overly fit and healthy during your pregnancy and make what appears to be a seemingly impossible bounce back.
No, I am worried about the other lonely new mothers out there who are struggling. Who see pictures of someone as perfect as you, or Kim K bounce back to a gorgeous figure with and amazing glow just after having babies, and for someone out there it may be the thing that tips them over the edge to depression….yes, thats who I’m worried about.
You see I have moments I feel like that, and I know I’m not alone. I too have twins but 3 weeks after my emergency delivery I was still struggling to walk. 9 months after the birth of my twins and my once toned, trim stomach looks like a saggy bag of potatoes and my boobs will simply never be what they used to be. And no it’s not without trying. I want more than anything to put on my slightly tight gym gear and head in for a work out but between managing twins with colic and reflux who do not sleep without an exhausting fight every nap or sleep time, I am simply too tired to even think about exercise. I live on no more than a few broken hours of sleep a night and I reluctantly gave up my gym membership to ensure I had more money for my babies.
Do I wish I had the will power to eat healthy and clean and focus on re-building my self esteem and confidence?? By golly yes. But alas, in the blur that is first time twin parenting and managing endless twin tantrums, mostly on my own for 12 + hours a day I admit, I give in and sit in a ball crying and eating the Tim Tam I really don’t need.
My point is….to famous mums like Bec and Kim, from the bottom of my heart congrats you look amazing and while I want to scratch your eyes out I am happy for you that you look and feel amazing. BUT….please be careful. You are a role model, someone people look up to and aspire to be and I’ll tell you when you get up every day struggling to make ends meet, just getting yourself through a day and you constantly feel like you are on the brink of breaking, looking at someones glam shot on the news or social media might just be the tipping point into depression.
You see a lot of mums aren’t coping. They miss their old bodies, the way they used to look and feel. They miss their work, having an income, independence and respect. instead they are battling. Battling with the pain of childbirth, the gut wrenching loneliness, the endless screaming matches, the lack of support, the fear of the unknown and the complete exhaustion that comes with being a Mum. They are comparing themselves to the images they see. Questioning why they aren’t back to their size 8 jeans, bouncing off the walls and loving every minute of life. And they are super close of looking into a dark tunnel of depression and missing moments with their new born child.
So please to the celebs out there….can we PLEASE get a bit real about having kids! Good on you if it’s working for you and be proud but also be mindful that out there are a lot of mums looking up to you, so close to the edge that they may just tip over and no mum needs that! The most important thing to remember about being a Mum is that you did it! And every day you get through is an achievement. Not that you look great or fit your active wear…no that you get up, you change nappies, feed, nurse and give everything you have to your bundles of joy.
Keep it real ladies, keep it real! x
nickyainley 